Every Hole Is Not A Goal

The gym is a place full of vanity and dull repetition, so obviously entertainment is required which more often than not comes in the form of a scantily clad woman jiggling on stair machines. It’s hard not to stare, because it’s such a better sight than your own sweaty arse in the mirror. Yet certain dilemmas arise like fat scantily clad women jiggling about, or even worse, that woman being your mother. These are all quite disturbing but don’t pose a serious question to a man’s morality, they are straight forward situations with straight forward responses. However when you’re in the gym and a very attractive girl whom is questionably young appears, that’s when the brain and the genitalia have it out.
“I would so like to fuck her,”
“Shut up Penis, she looks young,”
“But look at her Brain; she has those cotton short shorts on and look! SHE’S BENDING OVER! Also you know you have to be 16 to join this gym, so she’s legal!”
“Damn it Penis, stop it! That’s still wrong!”
“Wrong? That’s what will make it even sweeter big boy!”

You’d think a man would stick his dick into anything. This actually isn’t the case since there are so many ramifications that must be considered. A man must think about factors like “she’s fat so will my friends find out?”, or “she’s ugly will my friends find out?”, and how about the ole’ “she’s my sister so will my friends find out?” God knows I would love to stick my dick into a lot of things, but it unfortunately it isn’t that easy. Recently I tried just having sex with an ex, but that failed miserably because guilt and neuroticism’s became involved. Eventually the brain bitch slapped the penis and I’ve stopped knocking boots with her because it was just bringing out a me which I really didn’t like at all.

There are carnal tales of just straight out depravity and lust but I’ve never had the joys to experience it. The average UK man apparently has sex with 6 different people in his lifetime; this is a sad sad number. If I reach 30 and I haven’t had sex with more than 6 different girls I am going to get myself 6 different prostitutes, not even pretty ones. So the average sex life of a man lacks variety, which means there isn’t that much carnal depravity going around. Hopefully that just means there is a big market for it though, rather than saying dirty hot girls who have the sexual enthusiasm of rabbit in heat don’t exist. I’d rather believe in the former, it would make life that little more bearable and it keeps the lil’un happy as well.